Am I no longer my cousin’s cousin?
Over a period of several months I attempted to contact my first cousin. Initially, I would get her voice mail but after never getting a return call, I would just call and hang up when her voicemail picked up.
Finally, in September she actually answered the phone. She explained she had a problem with her phone service where she lived and could not receive calls inside her apartment. I also heard about another person who lived in that same area of town who had a similar problem. So, it seemed logical.
I asked if she would be interested in taking an autosomal-DNA- test through Family Tree DNA.I explained a little about what the test entailed and she said she would like to do it. I told her it was $100 and if she could afford to pay for it that would be great, otherwise, I could pay part or all, as I did not have the money at the time, myself. She indicated that would not be a problem. So, I ordered the kit and had it sent to her.
About a month later she had not returned the kit, so, I called her to touch base and was able to get her. She said she had a high car repair bill and had not sent it in. I again, told her I would go part or all if she preferred. I also asked if she had reservations about taking a dna test. She said she wanted to pay for the test and insisted she had no problem about taking the test.
After about another month, she had still not returned the kit. By this time I had some money and paid for the kit. I tried calling her and continually got no answer. After several unanswered calls I left a voice mail on several occasions to the effect that I had paid for the kit and she could take the test and return the kit.
Finally, in March, six months later, I called my cousin’s sister, another first cousin. She answered and sounded surprised to hear from me. The connection sounded unusual as if it were a bad connection. I told her I would call right back. When I called back, the phone went straight into voice mail. I called a second time and the same thing happened. I left a message to call me back. To date, she has not called. I made the assumption the second sister was playing the same game as the first.
I am very disappointed that two grown women, both grandmothers would act like teenagers. But, hey, I am a guy. What do I know? I was a little older than my cousins and had had a pretty close relationship with my cousin’s parents but was never real close with the cousins. I was, however, very surprised my cousins would act the way they did.
My guess is I should have never have asked the cousin to contribute to the cause even though she had expressed interest in the “family” and DNA in the past.
So….am I not my cousin’s cousin any longer?
After not hearing from the two sisters for about a month, I called a third first cousin which I luckily had. I never mentioned the money and she agreed to take the test. I had a new kit sent to her and it is now safely at the testing company and we are waiting on her results.
As an after note, on my birthday I did get a Facebook birthday message from the first cousin. I replied back thanking her. She did not mention the kit nor did I.
So, maybe I am still my cousin’s cousin? Or, maybe not?